If you want to know how firm and strong a tree is, check the roots, they are firmly distributed deep down the soil. And same is to a 33 storey building; in as much we are caught up by the glamour of the beautified building, with amazing lights and elevators accompanied by spiral staircase, the most work is not done on the outer world of the building, rather deep down the foundation of the building where no one is seeing.. Any Civil Engineer will tell you, the greater work and resources required to bring up a 33 storey building is not on the number of stories, but on its foundation. Poor foundation and poor holding capacity, means poor standing ability and the building could come down at a blow of the wind.
This takes me away back, in the village, there was this extremely tall and huge Cyprus tree that was very attractive. We could go and have some shade on it during periods of extreme winter and summer, sometimes hold small Barraza’s under the well thatched shades provided by the branches of this tree. It was used as a landmark when giving directions around the area. The tree was such a good monument until one day when we woke on the sad new that the village massive Cyprus tree has fallen. That was not shocking; it was astonishing to find out that the tree was void of tissues and the connective inner material in the trunk. The roots were already worn out, and it was enough for the small waves of wind that night, waves that could not even disorient the momentum of a flying butterfly, was enough to bring the huge tree down, because the supportive mechanism was already worn out, the supplying mechanism; the Phloem and Xylem were already weary of duty, and the connective mechanisms; the connective tissues and cells were weak enough not withstand the outward pressure, the small waves. All this mechanisms were vital for the wellbeing of the gigantic tree, unfortunately it was destabilized by a minuscule force.
In our daily errands, we have a daily obligation, to check our inner cycles. The people who are surrounding us, the people we call friends. One day in my interaction with my dad, He challenged me in a great way when he said, “its not a miracle to have a group of friends, its rather a miracle to have just one friend who you have trust to each other, a person you can check up on each other and have quality time to just talk about life.’ Yes! Life needs to be talked about and I am grateful because He is that one friend I found among the few friends in my cycle.
To come down to the demise of the Late Bob Collymore, CEO of Safaricom PLC, has really given me a platform to learn so much. From His busy life, Family life, Career, work and the most prominent part, his social life, the type of friend he surrounded his life with. The recent being the JKLive, the show run on Citizen TV every Wednesday from 9pm. Jeff Koinange taking a whole show to discuss the life of their gone friend. Then the crew that came in, what He was calling ‘The Boy Club’ such mind oriented, visionary, passionate, leaders and great friends. The conversation they were having, the kind of talks, the places they used to meet, the tea meetings, the frequent meeting they were having. I mean, out of their busy schedule and packed calendars, these ‘Boys’ could find time, meet and just talk about life. Life needs to be talked about. Pouring their hearts to each other, exchanging ideas and empowering each other. This sounds pretty well.
Out of the wide and deep conversation, I came up with a very simple and precise conclusion; True Friendship is not found anywhere, it’s rather built up. Yes, it’s built up. And the most resource required is TRUST. Trust takes time, and so is the friendship building up protocol. We have so many friendships that fall apart within no time because the roots did not take time to go deep the soil. We have friendships that lack trust, so opening up your heart to someone is the last thing to do because you may end up reading your story in the magazines the following day, reason? You opened up your heart to someone and he or she went ahead to share it out in your absence. This is what is eating friendships. So sad, right? So what is the possible way to do it right? For this I will only put it this way, it is not enough to make friendship, it’s rather enough to make the right type of friendship. The clear fact is that, you are very rich if you can count the things that money cannot buy, and if you can count the number of people who can offer a cushion-like shoulder when life gets rocky. The one hard truth is that, sometimes, life will be tough, things will fall apart; you will somedays lose track of your direction, you will cry tears, you will be heartbroken, you will run losses, you will be crushed in your spirit and you will feel sad. If you will lack proper machinery to carry you from such a mad, you will get stuck there and find no help from anywhere.
Jesus Himself had three confidants out of the 12 disciples. Guys he could go with on top of the mountain, guys who he could express His human nature on. The clearest one being during the prayer time in the Garden of Gethsemane, they saw him praying, sweat coming down inform of blood. Even though at some point they fell tired and slept, He still had them at His bosom. What a life! If Jesus the Messiah can portray such kind of life that valued creating a small circle of people you can pour your heart to, the persons you can create time together and talk. I am not talking about your girlfriend, or boyfriend, husband or wife, rather, about your confidant, a person you can talk about the issues and struggles in your marriage or relationship life, about the setbacks at the working station, and many more. Such of a kind, needs TRUST.
The scripture reminds us of this mutual friendship. The friendship that values other people’s interest more than your own personal interest. A friendship that love is accompanied by sacrifice. This is what Apostle Paul wrote to the Church of Phillipe, ‘if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with His spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition, or vain conceit, but in humility others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interest, but also to the interest of others. (Philippians 2:1-4)
Many are dying of depression not because they cannot open up and talk, but because people have changed and those to trust with the specific details of your life are almost zero to be found. Therefore many of those suffering in the hands of depression prefer dying with whatever is troubling them. When we think we have a number of friends to hung on, you find yourself hanging on a worn out brunch-kind of friend, and the next minute you find yourself hitting the floor of life so hard that you cannot start up again. I have talked of trust; Trust takes time to be expressed and attained. Just as the house is as strong as its foundation, so you are as strong as your friends. And that is my punchline!